Over the last few years and through this year’s contentious campaign season, which was rooted in America’s deep divisions, there has been a coarsening in the way people talk to each other. We wanted to explore how some are trying to bridge divides. We asked our reporters across the NPR Network to look for examples of people working through their differences. We’re sharing those stories in our series Seeking Common Ground.
In a community center overlooking the Salish Sea in Washington state, about 30 people are around a long table, talking and arguing.
It’s earlier this year, but the conversation has turned back to the assault on the U.S. Capitol building on Jan. 6, 2021. David Fox, a Democrat at the table, says there’s no evidence to back up Donald Trump’s claim that as president he asked the military to protect lawmakers before the building was breached. Sandi Lytle, a Republican, argues that this should have been the job of then-Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.
They go back and forth, interrupting, raising voices, as they try to convince each other. Though they argue, the two are friends who meet to do this most Thursday mornings.
“I love it because this is how the country is,” Lytle said. “This is who we are as a nation. We’ve got to have the discussion, the debate, the back and forth. That’s how we get to the best answers.”
The group meets against the backdrop of a diverse community
As NPR has reported on ways people have sought common ground despite their political divisions, this group provided one small example of people turning division into engagement.
Current attendees say the group has met to discuss politics for some three decades in a town where neighbors might have very different politics.
Port Angeles is the biggest town in Washington’s Clallam County, a rural, forested area that is home to about 78,000 people. Some are from the Indigenous tribes that originally populated the area before settlers arrived to start a timber economy. Now it’s popular for recreation and as a retirement destination. It has gone for both Republicans and Democrats in presidential elections, in part because of its diversity.
While the discussions are open to anyone in the community, it is mainly older adults who attend. Many said they like being in a place where their ideas are challenged, where they learn something and can interact face-to-face.
For many years, the group didn’t reflect the county’s political mix. Some say it was a liberal echo chamber. Last year, participants decided to reach out and explicitly welcome Republicans in the county.
They come for the debate, stay for the connections
That’s how Lytle, president of the Republican Women of Clallam County, found out about the discussions. She started regularly going to meetings in early 2024.
“I’m always in hot water, always in the hot seat,” Lytle said. “I say, ‘I’m just sharpening my tools.’”
Lytle, retired from sales and marketing, is often at odds with Fox, a Democrat and retired nurse. He also started going to the discussions this year, when a friend told him about them. After a meeting last month, Lytle and Fox got together with others at a cafe to discuss what the group means to them. Fox said he enjoys the back-and-forth.
“I think that’s the big draw for me,” Fox said. “It really is just to be face-to-face with other people’s ideas, and we don’t hold back.”
Occasionally they find some common ground — like when an argument over abortion came to both Lytle and Fox saying they could agree on restrictions after 12 weeks of pregnancy.
But consensus isn’t really the point. Fox says he can talk to other friends if he’s looking for people who agree with him. The Thursday group lets him hear opinions different from his own.
The fact that people choose to show up and have these conversations is what makes them work.
“Sandi’s one of those people that, you move me,” Fox said.
They both say they come from families that encouraged discussion on politics and community service. They said because of that, they’ve developed a mutual respect.
The election brings new strains but also commitment
This year, a small thing happened that drew the group closer. The senior and community center where they meet kicked out two participants for bringing in outside food, against the rules of the building managers. Lytle, Fox and others started meeting at the town’s library to figure out how they could all be allowed back in. They ended up going before the City Council.
“I don’t care about whether my friends are Democrats or not. I care about whether they’re being treated fairly by this community,” Lytle said.
Now this month’s election and its aftermath will test these bonds. The first meeting after the vote was tense, with Democrats saying some Republicans gloated about their win. It was a painful conversation for some.
Fox said he was disappointed and enraged with the election result, and at first he didn’t want to be around Trump supporters. But after reflection and talking with friends and family, he realized he wanted to keep moving forward.
“Whatever happens, whatever difficulties confront us, what’s most important to me is that we don’t go further and further away from each other,” Fox said.
Lauren Gallup reports for Northwest Public Broadcasting.