Nestled on the shore of Fall Creek Reservoir about 20 miles southeast of Eugene, Courageous Kids camp is in its 29th year.
Walking down the steps from Mooney Lodge, you hear the campers before you see them. They amble along shaded trails and meet in a clearing where counselors are starting a game of “Simon Says.”
“Simon says touch your nose. Simon says touch your chin.”
There are 45 campers here this summer, the largest group to date.
“Simon says touch your eyebrows. Simon says touch your head...”
From outward appearances, this looks just like any other summer camp. But the campers here are special. They’ve experienced unimaginable loss, from accidents and suicide, to overdose and illness. The Courageous Kids program offers them the semblance of a carefree camp experience even while they’re working through grief.
One in 14 kids in Oregon will experience the death of a parent or sibling by the time they turn 18. That’s according to research by Judi’s House, a nonprofit that supports bereaved children and families. Such loss at an early age can cause deep emotional pain and requires real courage to process.
No need to walk on eggshells
It’s lunchtime and hungry campers are swarming the dining hall.
Courageous Kids director, Amy-Rose Wootton, moved through the mass of high-fiving kids as she explained the importance of this camp.
“Oftentimes, when we have loved ones die, people stop talking to you about them because they think it might upset you and so nobody says their name anymore. They don’t share the stories anymore when that’s really counter intuitive to what we need,” Wootton said. “We need to talk about our people and celebrate them and remember them. And this place is where we can do it.”
Wootton lost her mom to suicide and also experienced the death of her brother.
“This is a service I wish I would have had when I was younger and want to be able to provide for our kids today,” she said.
The opportunity to speak about grief and celebrate the lives of those they’ve lost is important for campers like 12-year-old Ada Satterthwaite.
“My dad passed from cancer last year,” she said. “At school there’s like a lot of kids who haven’t experienced much so, it’s harder to relate. But here you can be able to meet and talk to people who’ve experienced the same kind of things as you have and they’ve actually gone through something that’s been hard.”
Ada said she’s been able to express some of her feelings through the art projects at the camp.
“The sand tray was cool because, it can, like, show you what you would like to do with them if you add one more day with them,” she said. “And then also we have candle lighting, which is a cool thing to be able to celebrate them in a way and just be thankful we had them.”
Campers return as counselors
The program has had a significant impact on many of its campers over the years, including some, such as Dan Campbell, who have returned as counselors.
“When I was 13 years old, I was in a car accident with my parents and my little sister and the front of the car ended up crushing my mom’s legs and she passed away in the car,” he said softly.
When he was old enough, Campbell joined the summer camp staff to “give back.” He’s returned for the last 14 years-- using vacation time off from his job in Bozeman, Montana.
“I was requested to come back because there are so few male counselors and male volunteers that are just willing to open up and share their experience,” he said.
Eugene native Shelley Steward is the type of camp counselor who carries a clip board and a leash—escorting the resident support dog, Jack.
“This is my 26th year at Courageous Kids camp,” she announced proudly. “The first, I was a camper after my dad died. And now, I’m on the leadership team and I lead activities in the art cabin.”
Steward said this camp was the first time she was surrounded by other kids who really understood.
“I was no longer the kid whose dad died,” she said. “I was just a kid.”
Courageous Kids camp and year-round grief-programs are run by PeaceHealth Hospice with support from volunteers, community and school-based groups. They are free to all participants.