Two prevailing emotions were present at First United Methodist Church in Portland: joy and grief.
On May 1, the United Methodist Church’s General Conference voted to remove multiple anti-gay bans that had been on the books for more than 50 years.
The rules, which were included in the church’s Book of Discipline, stated that homosexuality was “incompatible with Christianity.” Later rulings forbade the ordination of queer clergy and the performance of same-sex weddings.
Rev. Melinda Holloway, center, gives communion to Dan Woodward at First United Methodist Church in Portland, Ore., on May 8, 2024. The church was celebrating the removal of anti-gay language from the United Methodist Church rulebook.
Joni Land / OPB
Clergy found out to be queer could be brought up on charges by the national church and have their certifications removed.
The repeal of those rules was the culmination of a 50-year effort to make the church more inclusive, one that has led many congregations to splinter off in protest.
A small group of parishioners gathered at First United Methodist — a “reconciling congregation” that has long defied the anti-gay leanings of the church — last Wednesday to celebrate the decision, but also to lament the pain inflicted on queer members and clergy over the past five decades.
Inside the bright chapel, Pride flags were everywhere, as parishioners sang hymns with themes of justice and acceptance.
Rev. Karyn Richards-Kuan, the senior pastor at First United Methodist, said she wanted to give church members an opportunity to gather in celebration.
“Our congregation needed a space to be able to gather, to name the harm that’s been done, to sort of take stock of all that’s happened, and then also to dream for what we can do next,” Richards-Kuan said.
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The service was a catharsis of emotion. Clergy and parishioners take turns sharing their feelings about the announcement. While celebrating the achievement, many reflected on those who suffered from discrimination in the church.
“We know we aren’t there yet and people have suffered year after year after year,” member Sonja Connor said. “Suddenly, the words change, but we haven’t seen the practice change.”
At the start of the service, members also ripped out pages from the Book of Discipline containing the exclusionary language and burned them.
Rev. Karyn Richards-Kuan addresses parishioners at the First United Methodist Church in Portland, Ore., on May 8, 2024. The church is a "reconciling congregation," meaning it accepts openly gay members and clergy in defiance of national church rules.
Joni Land / OPB
Paul Nickell was 17 years old in 1972 when the Methodist Church first added the anti-gay language to its rules. At the cusp of discovering his sexuality, the announcement forced him back into the closet for several more years and he left the church.
He eventually returned, and has since served nearly every lay position within the First United Methodist.
“I get asked all the time, ‘Why did you stay?’” Nickell said. “Somebody very wise said to me, ‘Well, Paul, you can either make a statement or you can make a difference. And to make a difference, you have to stay because you cannot change the church if you leave.’”
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The announcement has been especially personal for Ethan Gregory, the first openly gay pastor at First United Methodist. He previously served in Texas, where he had to remain in the closet. He relocated to Oregon after the Methodist church’s Western Jurisdiction said it would not follow the church’s stance on homosexuality.
For Gregory, the announcement was a rare positive spotlight for one of the largest Christian denominations in the country.
“The shift is not in what I can and can’t do at the moment, but it’s the shift in knowing that my ordination, and who I am, is now no longer a protest against this denomination that I love,” he said. “It’s now simply an act of praise that we are all joining together.”