Oregon wildland firefighter rides from Astoria to Northern California to raise awareness for mental health

When Oregon wildland firefighter Kevin Conley heard about the wildfires in Los Angeles, he wanted to do something to help. Conley recently rode his bike from Astoria to San Francisco to raise money for the Wildland Firefighter Foundation, which provides financial and mental health resources to those fighting the fires. We’ll talk with Conley about his ride and the importance of mental health services for firefighters.

Note: The following transcript was transcribed digitally and validated for accuracy, readability and formatting by an OPB volunteer.

Dave Miller: This is Think Out Loud on OPB. I’m Dave Miller. When wildland firefighter Kevin Conley heard about the wildfires in Los Angeles, he wanted to do something to help. Unlike some other Oregon firefighters, he was not called in to work the massive blazes. But that didn’t mean he was powerless. Conley decided to get on his bike for a wintertime ride from Astoria all the way down to San Francisco to raise money for the Wildland Firefighter Foundation, which provides financial and mental health resources for people who fight fires. I caught up with Conley on Friday and started by asking him where he was.

Kevin Conley:  Right now, I’m about 14 miles from Fort Bragg today in Garberville and it was dumping rain. So I’ve ridden 51 miles today, about 7,000 ft of vertical gain, and my toes went numb. And I was rushing to get service so I could talk with you, and [a] lady made like a little hot tub [for my feet] because my toes were all numb. So I’m looking at the ocean with my feet in this little hot tub trying to get my toes so they’re not white anymore.

Miller:  Well, thanks for taking some time. So, you’re at a country store or something?

Conley:  Yeah, I’m at a country store in a small town called Westport, California. I’m about 200 miles north of San Francisco, and San Francisco’s my goal. So the goal was to ride 1,000 miles for my brothers and sisters. But through the journey there’s been a lot of miracles and there’s a greater purpose that came in on my first night too.

Miller:  Well, what was that? What was that first miracle on the first night?

Conley:  It’s wild. So I’ve done all these adventures just spontaneously and I have an avid passion for raising money for charity, especially ever since I’ve been a firefighter for the Wildland Firefighter Foundation. So I’m talking to my buddy and said, “I think I’m going to try to raise $2,500. I think that’s manageable with my reach.” And he’s like, “Well, you’re always on these podcasts, telling people to dream big and have these big goals. You can do better than that.” He kinda pushing me along. I said, “All right, I’ll shoot for $5,000.”

So I start in Astoria and I get to Rockaway Beach. I pull up [an] email from Melanie and Frank Gladics. And their son Patrick was a career wildland firefighter. He was a helicopter manager on a Type 1 helicopter and he was also on hotshot crews. Unfortunately, he took his own life a few years ago. His parents emailed me and it was the most honoring email I’ve ever read in my life. They asked me if I would carry some of Patrick’s ashes along on my journey so he could ride with me and if I would dump some of his ashes off the Golden Gate Bridge into the Pacific Ocean … and he rides 1,000 miles with me. And they pledged $3,500. So the first 24 hours that I started this trip, we broke $5,000. And then I had another purpose because I’m carrying his ashes.

And for almost the entire journey up until today, I’ve had these wild moments where I’m going over bridges or through tunnels, and down these big hills, and there’s no cars. I really feel like I have angel’s wings with me as I’m carrying his ashes. What’s so special, in a weird way, is that I almost took my life a few years ago. He took his life a few years ago. So even though we never met in person, I feel like we have this bond. It gives me, sometimes, these tearful moments. But it also inspires me to push harder and stronger, which in life we always have to have a greater purpose. And that keeps us going and keeps us with mental fortitude.

Miller:  We’ve heard a fair amount on this show over the years about the physical toll that being a wildland firefighter creates. I mean, just carrying so much gear, and then going up and down incredibly difficult terrain in incredibly difficult circumstances with smoke and heat. But what are the mental challenges that come from doing the job and from coming home after you’ve done the job?

Conley:  Yeah, one of the really hard mental challenges, for myself and for a lot of wildland firefighters, is that a lot of us are seasonal employees. So we’ll work for six months out of the year and you’re training for fire season, and then you’re sort of thrown into it. And all of a sudden you’re gone for 14 to 21 days. And when you get home, you only get two days of rest and relaxation. Sometimes you get three. So you’re away from your family, your friends. This whole summer, in the drop of a dime, I get a call – I’m an engine boss – and I just got to say “bye” to my girlfriend. I’ve got to jump in my truck, be at the station and then my engine in under 30 minutes. There’s no, “oh, let’s finish dinner.” She’s packing dinner, I just give her a kiss and I’m gone.

It’s a rough job. When you go into the season, you’re in really good shape. But over the season, it beats you down. So this season, I think I spent a little over 90 days on wildfire assignments – prescribed fires and wildfires. And that’s a lot of time to be away. And then at the end of the season, what hits a lot of us really hard, is you have all this purpose during fire season. Now I’m away from home and family, and all that. So that affects you. But during fire season, we saved homes this year. My engine and other engines, we saved a bunch of homes and barns on one of these fires. We saved huge chunks of forest.

They have this huge purpose. And then at the end of fire season, you’re just laid off. It’s dark at 4:30 in the afternoon. All your friends go to different states and different places. And even though you’re back home with your loved ones, you’ve lost this giant purpose that you’ve had pushing you for six months. I think that affects us a lot. I also think just how much you’re beat down, the wear and tear on your body from fighting fire for six months really gets to you. So there’s a lot of mental aspects to the job that people don’t understand.

There’s wildland firefighters, like down in L.A., that are fighting these fires and their house burns down while they’re fighting a fire. And then there’s firefighters that have seen one of their best friends hit and killed by a tree. So we see trauma. There’s engine rollovers. There’s helicopter crashes. There’s so much risk to this job. So there’s just so many different facets that people go through and we’re not paid very well. It’s the end of the season and I’m trying to get a permanent job, but I’m on food stamps right now. I risked my life for six months to fight fires. I’m not complaining. I do it because I have a passion for it, protecting the communities, the people and the forest.

Miller:  How much do burn bosses or other people in leadership take mental health into account these days?

Conley:  The programs are not stable. When I worked in a national park, I wanted to see what it was like if I wanted to talk to a therapist. And it took three weeks for me to see a therapist. Then she told me I couldn’t see her again for three months – and it might not be her, it might be someone else. I just wanted to see what the program was like. Then I saw it and I was like, “Well this isn’t helping us.”

It was nice because you can take a mental health day, but then how do other people look at you? I try not to judge people. You never know what people’s struggles are in their minds and their bodies, so you’ve got to treat everyone with respect and dignity. But no, the government, I don’t think really cares about our mental health, but they’re trying to. And that’s a big reason I raise money for the Wildland Firefighter Foundation, because you can call the Wildland Firefighter Foundation. They’re a nonprofit, and they’ll get you mental health support immediately. Immediately. And when firefighters are killed in the line of duty, immediately they’re there to help those families to process.

Miller:  You’d said that you’re looking to get a permanent job. If you got a full-year job right now, if somebody offered you something, would you take it? Or, do you still want to do this work seasonally because, despite everything you’ve just said, you still want to be a wildland firefighter?

Conley:  Yes, I have so much passion for fighting fire. Sometimes I think about being a structure firefighter. It’s funny when you meet structure firefighters, they’re like, “You guys are the real heroes out in the woods.” And I’m like, “No, you’re the real heroes. You guys go into the burning buildings! I feel good out in the woods.” So I have so much respect for structure firefighters. I have so much respect for all the first responders, the nurses, the EMTs, the ambulance drivers, the policemen. I have so much honor and respect for them.

I’m out in the woods having fun, digging line, running chainsaws and shooting water with my hose. It’d be hard for me if I got offered $100,000 to sit behind a desk. I don’t think I could take it because it’s the purpose and the passion that really just fires me up. And it’s hard to leave something that you believe in so much.

Miller:  You know, you were talking before about the shock, of the feeling of sort of drifting when the mission is over, when you’re done fighting fires for the season. Do you feel that after a long ride?

Conley:  All these journeys are really tough when you finish them because your body gets so used to [moving]. I’ve been moving now for nine or 10 days. I haven’t taken any rest days, so your body gets … I’m riding my bike seven or eight hours a day. And what’s making this really a challenge is that I’m doing this in January. If there was no rain and it was summertime, I could be in San Francisco in two days. With this severe rain and potential headwind, it might take me four days to do 200 miles.

So when it ends, I think I’m going to be really proud of what I’ve done carrying Patrick’s ashes. And I just got an email from the Wildland Firefighter Foundation that we broke $10,000. So we went above … We doubled the goal. I thought $5,000 was a huge goal. I wasn’t sure if we were going to make that. Yeah, it’s going to be hard going back home. But fire season’s right around the corner. So, for me, to fight the offseason depression and the things we go through, I try to set goals and I think happy thoughts. I remind myself what I’m grateful for, and I try to spread kindness and do good things for the world. That helps me through the off-season.

Miller:  Kevin Conley, thanks very much. Congratulations and please stay safe.

Conley:  Oh, I appreciate it so much. Thanks for having me on the show.

Miller:  Kevin Conley is a wildland firefighter from Oregon, who decided to bike from Astoria all the way down to San Francisco to raise money and awareness for firefighter mental health. We talked on Friday after he’d reached Northern California. He finished his ride yesterday afternoon.

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