Hillsboro Ukrainian American therapist on war anniversary, delivering aid to frontline

Last Saturday marked the second anniversary of Russia’s full-scale invasion of Ukraine. Tens of thousands of Ukrainian soldiers have been killed and more than six million refugees have fled the fighting since the war began.

Yulia Brockdorf is a Ukrainian American psychotherapist who lives in Hillsboro. She is also the co-founder and president of DAWN, a nonprofit that has been sending medical supplies, water filtration equipment and other humanitarian aid to Ukraine. She made four trips last year, including one in November when she traveled to the frontlines in eastern Ukraine to provide counseling to troops and former POWs. Brockdorf shares her perspective on the mental health toll the fighting is taking on civilians turned soldiers, as well as the ongoing need for military aid to Ukraine.

Note: This transcript was computer generated and edited by a volunteer.

Dave Miller: This is Think Out Loud on OPB. I’m Dave Miller. Last Saturday marked the second anniversary of Russia’s full scale invasion of Ukraine. Tens of thousands of Ukrainian soldiers have been killed. More than 6 million people have fled their homes. Yulia Brockdorf is a Ukrainian American psychotherapist who lives in Hillsboro. She’s also the co-founder and president of DAWN, a nonprofit that’s been sending medical and humanitarian supplies to Ukraine. She made four trips herself last year. She has traveled to the front lines to provide counseling for troops and to former prisoners of war. Yulia Brockdorf joins us now. It’s great to have you on the show.

Yulia Brockdorf: Hi, Dave. Pleasure to be here.

Miller: Organizing shipments of medical supplies or humanitarian supplies is something we actually talked about on this show before. That’s one thing. Traveling, yourself, is another. How did you decide to go?

Brockdorf: One of my trips when I went just to the western part of Ukraine, I was working with Ukrainian veterans in a hospital. And from that experience, I gleaned that in order to be effective, if I truly want to impact a difference in an individual’s life, they will be much more open and capable to receiving help if they work with someone who has had lived experience, even though I’m civilian, somewhat similar to knowing what it’s like to be in the areas, not knowing if or not you’re going to make out of there.

Miller: This was at a hospital?

Brockdorf: It was in the hospital with people who are recovering.

Miller: People who had had serious injuries and serious trauma. At that time, that first trip, what were you trying to provide? What was your goal as a healer, as a mental health professional?

Brockdorf: I wanted to be there for the veterans to give them space, should they want to discuss either their experiences serving, or their goals and hopes they can re-enter civilian life, relationship with their family. There are so many nuances that are impacting veterans. I was hoping if things could be helpful. I work here in the States with American veterans. Yet working with Ukraine veterans, it proved to be a very different experience until I went to the front.

Miller: Was it that they would say things like, “You can’t help me because you don’t know what it’s like?” Was it that concrete? I’m curious what made you realize, “I have to go east. I have to go closer to the front.”

Brockdorf: It was not as concrete at first. When I would interpret what they say in those terms, then that would be a solid yes. But the original sense is that I could feel the attempt to protect me, I could feel the attempt to shield and cover and blunt the edges, and not be able to go into the materials that was essential for them to work through.

Miller: Meaning, you could tell that, just to speak in really simple terms, there were horrors that they had experienced or seen that they didn’t think you could handle?

Brockdorf: Right. Plus I am a girl.

Miller: And these are mainly men you’re talking about? Because women and men are serving on the front lines.

Brockdorf: Yes, women and men are serving, and they serve shoulder to shoulder in various missions. But my very first experience when I was working in Ukraine was men. And so here I am, a female and from America. What do I know? At the same time, [they were] trying to make it all very packaged to me. And I see that across the board. And when I would call it out, it would be, “Well, how can you understand? How can you understand the threat to life? How can you understand that I cannot talk to my wife for a year? How can you understand what it’s like to be so cold that your fingers don’t move, or they actually frostbitten, that they will never recover their function? How can you understand what it’s like to crawl for nine hours with a tourniquet or two tourniquets on, and then later lose a leg because there was no way to evacuate, there is no way to send an evacuation team because it was enemy fire, shelling is so constant?”

That’s true. I’d never had that lived experience, and I will never have.

Miller: But you heard enough of that that you said, the next time I come back, I am going to go to the front?

Brockdorf: I’m gonna ask for permission to do it.

Miller: How did that work?

Brockdorf: It took some work, it is not that easy for a civilian to do that. So building relationships, building trust, building permissions to be able to work and to have the particular clearance to go to the areas I’m permitted to go.

Miller: How close to shelling, to the most active war zones have you been at this point?

Brockdorf: There are different levels of the front. I would say, in my vision, and I’m really not good with these distances, but I would think it would translate like a mile. But as far as the fire, fire was above me, fire was around me. When we were in a trench, it was a risk to your life to exit the trench to go to the bathroom. So it was there.

Miller: What did it mean to provide therapy in the middle of the war, as opposed to at a hospital that is some 100 miles from it? This wasn’t warriors on leave or getting patched up before they’re going to go back. They were right in the middle of it. What were you providing?

Brockdorf: The big part is to be very flexible. Because what needs to be provided really differs from person to person, from moment to moment for the same person. Being with them for a certain block of time allows them to know me, for me to know them. And then we would have moments where you could step aside at different points, or find a corner or something, and to be able to address and discuss elements that they wanted to discuss. It would take on different, different shapes and forms. It could be driving to position, it could be sitting together eating a meal, it could be working on something and discussing, it could be just going for a stroll and talking. It just depends.

Miller: How much did you have to counteract stigma? This is changing to some extent in US society, more of a sense of parity of mental health and physical health. But we’re talking about a different country, and we’re talking about a country at war. Did you encounter men or women who said “I don’t need a shrink right now. I need bullets. I need sleep.”

Brockdorf: And this is exactly what they need. They need bullets, they need sleep, because that would make a difference in how these events are going to unfold. If we have F-16s, we can end this war very quickly. If they have long range missiles, the Ukrainian military has shown themselves to be very responsible of how they use the weaponry given to us. And having those tools, we can end this war.

And it’s not just element of stigma. It’s also the piece of, you have competent people who have no tools to do their job, be it military personnel who needs to have particular equipment, or medical personnel who needs equipment to do their job. We need access to equipment and tools to be able to be effective. And that’s really hard to have that sense when you can, but you may not.

Miller: That answer makes perfect sense, and I do want to dig deeper into it. You’re talking about geopolitical questions about support from the US or Western allies, whether it’s direct financial support, or materiel, war stuff, crucial questions that the US Congress for example is paralyzed about right now.

But at the personal level of you in a trench, sometimes just going to a corner somewhere, you don’t have a therapy office here, it sounds like. How would you get people to open up? Was that your job, or were you just waiting to see if people wanted to take advantage of what you had to offer?

Brockdorf: At first, people were very cautious and unsure the first time I went to the east. And after that first trip, it really changed how people’s approach worked. They just know I’m here. And those who wanted to engage with me on particular issues, they would. I would make myself available. And there were times I would have [see] numbers of people more than I’ve ever seen in the states in one day. And sometimes it would be very different. It depends where you go and what you’re doing.

Once they know that I know, it truly changes so much.

Miller: That’s interesting the way you put it because that’s from their perspective. Do you think that it changed you? The way you said this first is that when you were in the west and you were insulated a little bit from the war, the soldiers that you were talking to weren’t sure if they could trust you, they weren’t sure if you could handle what they were going to say. And then it seems like you were able to gain more of their trust when you were with them. Do you think you were also a different therapist yourself because of what you had experienced?

Brockdorf: I think I have learned leaps and bounds just even understanding what questions may be OK or not OK to ask.

Miller: Can you give us an example of that?

Brockdorf: Well first of all, I really learned how to swear. I’m really good at swearing in Ukrainian now.

Miller: You weren’t before?

Brockdorf: Not that good. But now it can flow.

Miller: It’s funny as you’re saying that, but is there a professional benefit to having access to that kind of language for your job?

Brockdorf: It makes me not be above. It makes me not to be a separate person. I’m in the milieu, sleeping, cooking, speaking in the way that people have worked with. I’m not somebody else. I am part of the team for some other common goal.

And it changed for me personally, having the insight to what they’re going through. Like for some reason why the person might not want to, or want a particular boundary in their relationship, for example. It gives me lived sense of experience of what is going to structure and making that request of the family. And my role would be to help them to learn how to communicate that, for example, to the family.

Miller: When I asked you at the beginning why you went, you started, but you were already there in your answer you said “I was in the western part of the country and then I realized I had to go east.” But why did you go to begin with? The war started, why did you decide “I am going to go to Ukraine?”

Brockdorf: Very first steps was to deliver medical aid. This war started in 2014. The full scale invasion really helped ask me to reflect on what my values truly are. And if they are values, you’re gonna live for them, and be willing to sacrifice for them, and risk your life for them. And one of my values is freedom. So my nation, my home, my heart, is at the risk of losing her freedom. Parts of my country where I grew up is currently under occupation by the enemy. So for me to not go, it would be inconceivable. It’s not why I went. I could not not go. It’s part of me.

Miller: The war, as I noted at the beginning, has created maybe more than 6 million refugees, some of whom have resettled in Oregon, a small number but not insignificant, and elsewhere in the US, in Poland, all over the world. As a mental health professional, what do you see as the particular needs for these refugees? What have you seen in Oregon?

Brockdorf: In Oregon, our nonprofit was awarded a grant to provide support for Ukrainian refugees with various aspects of their needs. And what I see is that people need to be given tools to make it. They need the ability to earn income. They need transportation. They need to be able to re-qualify their diplomas. They need to be able to have stable housing. They need support in the areas of health and mental health. They need child care. And they need, very importantly, access to services in Ukrainian language.

Miller: As opposed to Russian and English?

Brockdorf: As opposed to Russian and English. Because even though, for example, I am fluent in Russian. But for many people that I’ve worked with, I’ve heard the sentiment that receiving services or asking for Ukrainian interpreter and the Russian interpreter comes in, it is an act of assault. Because for some people, they’ve seen a Russian soldier rape their child. And I don’t want to hear services from health care providers provided in Russian. Some people don’t feel the same way. But I think to have provision of services in Ukrainian is very important.

Miller: Can you tell us about a summer camp that you organized for young Ukrainian refugees in Oregon?

Brockdorf: Yes, we had a nine week summer camp. It was really well attended and we have a lot of interest in the camp. And our non-profit has served as four teachers who are Ukrainian professionals who provided services for these kids. We had kids who would come into the camp really locked up, and have difficulty interacting, communicating. And by the end of the camp, they were singing, they were on the stage, we performed at Pioneer Square. You could see [the] children blossom. We were leaning on the use of Ukrainian culture, Ukrainian language, and various psychological tools to provide children with support, and also with community. And they blossomed.

Miller: I want to turn back to the question of US aid that you brought up earlier, mentioning F-16s and long range missiles. Because as we speak, far right Republicans in Congress are once again threatening a government shutdown partly because of aid to Ukraine. If you were talking directly to them, what would you say?

Brockdorf: I had the opportunity to go to Capitol Hill. I will go again in April to talk to them again. And I remind them that we stand for democracy, for freedom, for sovereignty of our nation. This is not a tribal society we live in. We live in a global society. And when we infringe on freedom of a nation anywhere in the world, it impacts all of us, and all our relationships. The United States stood to say that we will protect Ukraine, if Ukraine will surrender nuclear power. Ukraine disarmed. And the United States, Russia, Great Britain promised to protect Ukraine should her territorial integrity be compromised. That happened. We have moral obligation to support Ukraine with everything she needs to win this war and end this war. And what is victory for Ukraine? It’s when every last soldier of enemy state is driven out of every last inch of Ukrainian territory.

Miller: Yulia Brockdorf, thanks very much.

Brockdorf: Thank you.

Miller: Yulia Brockdorf is a Ukranian American psychotherapist based in Hillsboro, co-founder and president of DAWN. She will be going back to Ukraine to provide therapy to soldiers on the frontline this coming Sunday.

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